Jealousy why it happens

Whole other story. I am however aware of a few things which add to my insecurities. My own fault for letting this happen, either way I let it almost kill me. I fell into deep depression, started using drugs and alcohol. Lost the rights to my kids. Picked up some pretty bad criminal charges.

It was nasty. So, I stayed in treatment where I now currently Manage. Got my life back together, and started dating someone. This was against all my better judgement since she works with me and she was seeing someone.

Living with him at that. I knew if she was able to jump in bed with me while being with someone else, who says it wont happen to me!? I told her this, but her and I fell for one another right off the hop. I am still with her, but since we have dated I have had some problems. Some are in my opinion, legit reasons. Most are not. I instantly go into this panic mode when ever this happens. I feel the way I did in my past relationship. I voice this to her, sometimes the wrong way!

I know we are in love. She says she understands, but then I feel like I am being a total psycho, not wanting her to talk to these men. I am not against her having friends that are guys, just the thought of these men she was with, who still show interest in her. She acts the same. She does not like it if I have any friends that are women. I make myself try to understand a few things. I made a decision to date her while she was in a relationship. She moved out, left him and has been with me since.

I know the past, my addiction and who I am today are all effecting my confidence. In a positive way, and negative way. Finally, I am basically seeking any kind of advice, ears to listen, or if I have helped anyone with what I am going through.

Hi, I feel so ashamed of feeling so jealous! I am so lucky! I have 3 grown up children a relatively good marriage lockdown has caused challenges, we celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary in April and I joked would we make 36?

We are currently all well and safe! Which makes me feel worse for feeling the way I do! I have a brilliant relationship with my only daughter she is the youngest of our three! She is doing so well a good job lovely house in a happy loving relationship! We have an adorable 2 yr old Tibetan terrier Jakey. Whenever we have gone away on holiday Jess said daughter and her boyfriend Cieran have looked after him, took him on days out etc. They have put a deposit down on a puppy a cockapoo, Jakey is not a fan of this breed!

Please tell me why I have these horrible horrible feelings, I know how stupid I am being and I know that I will love the new addition to the family and that I will do everything to help with her!

But my Jakey will be knocked from his top spot! And Darcey will become their new baby! I hate myself this morning. Regards Gill.

Thank you for this article. I came out of an abusive relationship and now and beginning a new one with a very kind person. I have never been jealous but recently found myself feeling this way. I dont act on it and leep these feelings to myself and usually just cry. I hate this obsessive feeling. It made me feel a little better to see that you wrote for us to have compassion for ourselves. How do I go about it?

It is consuming me constantly and my head hurts from anger at myself or allowing myself to feel this way.

I am jealous of my husband relationship with my best friend. My husband and I are good friends with the couple. I know she sees him as a friend and he sees her as a friend. They are both people that have a lot of self confidence and I have little confidence. Love and lust often get entangled and usually becomes apparent after the relationship starts.

Women and men ultimately have different desires but its possible to find the one. Usually we choose to accept the inevitable pain because humans lust in general.. The jealous me is getting too big for me to handle. I dont have anyone to talk to so that inner voice gets a lot of attention. My husband just gets mad when I try to talk to him. Is there anyway to shut the inner voice off? Yes I am I secure in my relationship with my husband.

He does seem to enjoy other women more than he does me and I know it is my fault. I need help….. I get jealous for not getting the best jobs. I get jealous for not dating a finer at wealthier guy …I get jealous for playing and actually being a good girl but ending up with the worst achievements in life……. Its so so frustrating and depressing…. I want ti not feel this way honestly. A few weeks ago my best friend asked me to help her cheat in an online exam. So I did.

Does it sound unethical? But it was for her future. So I was ready to do anything. Since I was preparing for hard exams like jee mains and advanced I knew math much better than her. Half of the questions in her entrance exam were easy math. And I solved all those questions for her. And now that she got accepted into the university and that I am still searching for mine.

Still trying very hard every day. I feel an overwhelming jealousy and it comes to the point where I regret helping her. But that is not my goal, my goal is another stream, another college. She achieved her goal. She had help. Does my jealousy sound pointless? Maybe deep down I want a friend like myself who could help me in the topics I find difficult.

Like I helped her with math. I become sorry and irritated. It can be something as simple as him asaying to me, hey we should cook dinner for your brother and wife tonight. I feel jealous of my partner.

His wife keep posting their picture in public social media,while his another lover keep teasing me not pretty and intelligence enough like her. I am Elizabeth Yun from Malaysia. I was a skinny normal good-looking blonde girl. You know as women we can have natural jealousy of some or admiration. Well, I think she was saying I was a jealous person.

I looked up to her but she was a witchy kinda lady. I think she wanted me to feel bad about myself. I mean even if someone likes a song I found. Its made life harder for defending myself when needed to keep my space to heal. That is what kills me the most. It feels like a curse. Is it normal that I feel rage? I look all comment,where is my comment write it down in my comment,i could found this anywhere,please you found my comment,on this website for me,please, please you shave my comment with young people,.

I make big complete about you, i looking all comment from other young people,i could found it,i am very left out from this, please you found my comment what else,.

Ik it sounds ridiculous and i agree. The last time I acted on my jealousy it just felt so wrong. It felt like I was freaking out over nothing. It was a really long time ago. Every time she brings them up I immediately feel insecure and find myself craving that kind of attention that she gets from her family and past friends.

What should I do so I can stop feeling jealous? I have been with my husband for 16 years and we have a very happy marriage.

His mother recently passed away and his ex gf came to the funeral. If you need a little extra help doing this, I recommend working under the guidance of a Gottman-trained therapist. You can find one in your area on the Gottman Referral Network.

They expect to be treated with kindness, love, affection, and respect. They expect their partner to be loyal and honest. I need you to text me and let me know. The more you talk, the healthier your relationship will be. Is there a specific relationship that is making you uncomfortable? You and your partner should be open and upfront with each other about friendships and work relationships. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. Seeman MV. Pathological jealousy: An interactive condition.

Sheikhmoonesi F. Obsessional jealousy: A narrative literature review. Iranian Journal of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences. Your Privacy Rights.

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What Is Jealousy? Identifying Jealousy. How to Handle Jealousy in Marriage. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Sign Up. What are your concerns? Want more tips like these? Sign up for our newsletter and follow us on Facebook , Twitter and Instagram.

IE 11 is not supported. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Share this —. Follow better. By Sarah DiGiulio. Jealousy is hard-wired in all of us. Explainers What is gaslighting? And how do you know if it's happening to you?

How to create a life based on what you care about May 7, Decide if your jealousy is being driven by your own insecurities Jealous fears about a partner often have roots in negative views about ourselves , Freeman notes.